AUGUST APATHY

 August is one month in which I linger the longest.

It seems to take me days to complete simple tasks.

“Tomorrow,” I tell myself, “I’ll just put this task off until tomorrow.”

Days roll by as I sit on our little porch gazing out at our beautiful roses: Red, yellow, white.  

Our large variety of Hasta bring pleasure after the colorful day-lilies have completed their cycle of beauty. 

Winterberry bushes, filled with green berries, will turn bright red in a couple of months.  

Russian Sage sweeps over the beds of Oregano, Tarragon, Mint, Garlic Chives, Onions and a few other herbs of unknown origin. 

I continue to dig into my pile of books, a few pages at a time.  Some are filled with daily meditations and others are so thick with wisdom that it takes me quite some time to chew on each phrase.  

I read, mark, learn and try my best to inwardly digest concepts that are familiar to me but which are written with a greater depth than my usual texts.  

I linger on each page as I try to place the swirl of content into feasible patterns that I can remember.

This is the only time of year that I can be really lazy in my use of time.

Few demands are set before me except from sweet hubby who seems always to be hungry.  

He is just as engrossed in his studies as I am so his inquiries regarding basic needs remind me to stop, enjoy a meal with good conversation and then linger some more.

  

It’s not that we sit around all day doing nothing.

It's just this sense of apathy that comes from lingering a little longer in the beauty of each day.  

I do not see “apathy” as negative but a fact of August.  

Summer storms this time of year bring cool evenings and not-so-hot days.  

We take time to enjoy precious moments as we embrace sweet smells of mowed grass, listen to our farmer-neighbors as they slowly drive their tractors around full fields and smile at the sight of the Amish riding high on horse-drawn buggies in the distance.  

Few deadlines, unstructured days, shorter chore lists and the beauty that surrounds us makes me feel a bit like I am swimming in apathy.  

Yet, I know better.  

My favorite scripture from Proverbs comes to mind: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”  

This verse keeps me focused.

This scripture reminds me not to feel guilty about letting go of certain disciplines.  

For instance, after a year I stopped writing my daily blog.  In fact, as of June, I stopped writing spontaneously as I have done for years.  

No weekly words to share with others.  

No articles for various publications.  

Even my monthly musing on this “Linger Longer” blog seems awkward, stilted, stuck.  

This is why I feel a strong sense of apathy.  

Perhaps I am finished with words.  

Perhaps all that I need to tell the world has been completed.  It feels like ‘apathy’ but perhaps I am indeed finished with sputtering pithy words for a time.  

I need to simply trust in the Lord as I continue to pray for guidance.  He may be taking me on a new path.  

Or, perhaps it’s just because it’s August, a month that I choose to set aside each year in order to feel the joy of ‘apathy’, linger longer on my porch and throw all my cares into the summer breezes that sweep across the extensive meadows behind our lovely home.

Whatever word I choose to explain how I feel in August is totally opposite most of my action during the other months of each year.  

I tried to retire three times.  

Didn’t work.  

August is the closest I’ll get to settling down. 

Most of the year I choose to run at a pretty constant pace.  I’ve slowed down quite a bit and require at least two hours each morning for myself . . .  prayer, meditation, study and a good cardio session on my glider along with our morning walk.  

It’s a good reminder for all of us to take a day off each week to worship our Lord and rest in His presence. 

It's good to take one week each quarter of the year to re-assess our tasks and goals and step back a bit.  

It's good to take one month each year to at least slow - way - down.  

It’s good to step back from plans and people and even daily purpose to feel a snail’s rush of ‘apathy.’   

It's good to Linger with streams of nothingness floating through body and mind.  

It's good to let the soul be filled with a greater amount of God’s presence periodically.

Linger in the beauty of summer surroundings.  

Settle into the sounds of silence.  

Take time to listen to birds chatting or a tractor turning its turbines.  

Touch damp leaves in the early hours of each day, bask in the sweet smells of lavender, rose hips, mint, sage, dill and basil.  

Sip a cool drink, eat light meals, stand back as lightening fills the sky in the midst of a late afternoon storm and watch fireflies dance at night.

Enjoy doing nothing on that list once in awhile.

Linger as fond memories sweep through the mind.

Invite the Lord to bring forth names as you pray for others . . .  that those on your heart also find a moment to linger in the presence of our Creator, our Savior, our Lord, who is “over all, in all and through all.” 

This is a time to embrace our Lord’s unconditional love that comes from simply ‘being’ with Him and knowing He will never leave us nor forsake us.  

This is a time to linger in His trust with all our heart.  

This is a time to lean on Him even when we do not understand where we are or where we are going.  

This is a time to embrace the ‘nothingness’ that comes from this sense of 'apathy'.  

God is working in our soul when we invite Him to do so.

August Apathy, it’s a good thing.

JULY 2020 OUR HOME SWEET HOME

July!

Flags fly as we celebrate the birth of our nation, our Home Sweet Home.

Picnics in parks continue, well- spaced, masks on.

Parades and fireworks have been sparse.

For the most part, July festivities remain in our imagination as we continue to sequester.

Tunes and slogans come to mind as I see flags wave from neighbors’ homes.

“God bless America, land that I love. . . .” 

I recall fond memories of Kate Smith in her long sleeved, beautifully draped black dress singing this simple hymn.  She was an American icon, anticipated at the annual July 4th celebration at our nation’s capitol.  Why did we expect the annual appearance of Kate Smith?   It seemed almost corny because it is the only song we remember from her.  Yet, we DO remember her.  We do remember the song . . .  and the words.

“Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with the Light from above.  From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans, white with foam; God bless America, my home sweet home. . . . God Bless America, my Home Sweet Home!”

If, indeed, we read every inscription on our national monuments, we find that, indeed, America is Home to millions who seek God is our guide.  

Our ancestors fled to this nation with empty pockets yet they were filled full with hope.

They sought the same freedom, under God, that our founders sought.  

They eventually tore free of crippling taxes, massive food shortages or oppressive demands across the sea and forged a new life in this incredible Land filled with opportunity.

Only through hard work, assimilating with American culture, learning our common language and persevering through daily challenges, would we, as a nation, thrive.  

Coming to America is no utopia. 

We are all a wonderful mish-mash of immigrants unless we come from a native American tribe.  Our families share memories of harsh lives in other countries that forced our ancestors to flee.  These stories have become a dim recollection to current generations.  

Only by learning world history over the centuries could anyone truly stand in awe of the wealth of opportunity, free education, the freedom to worship along with many other benefits this nation offers.

“God Bless America” . . . even though we do not deserve God’s blessing.  We have turned our back on God in the same way the Israelites turned their back on Him as they wandered in the desert.  Moses, time and again, called upon God’s grace to ‘rescue’ His wayward sheep.  

We are no different today.  

We’ve wandered from God’s loving grace and turned away from God’s gaze as we seek our own path to ‘fulfillment.’  

We’ve become so myopic regarding our own needs, wants and expectations that we’ve forgotten to give thanks, to the One who provides us with our many blessings.

Yet, God continues to bless us beyond measure.  

“Land that I love” . . . that we all love enough to remain here.  No one keeps us within these parameters of the United States of America.  We could live in Mexico or Canada.  

We could cross the sea in any direction and live in another country.  

Yet, with all our complaining, we must love this land more than any other.  

We’ve roots here.  

We have generations of memories.  

We have the opportunity to honor our Lord with praise and thanksgiving.  

Because of God’s blessings over this land that we love, we remain here.  

We should love where we live, warts and all.  

This land is far from perfect and has much that needs to be reconciled but God gave us the ability to draw upon our mind and soul and wisdom to keep moving forward with focus and perseverance.

We, who call ourselves Christians, are called to be a channel of God’s love.

We can talk to God, daily, and ask God to provide the healing needed for this nation.

We are called to listen to God and share God’s loving word with others.

In doing so, we become channels of God’s love.

“Stand beside her and guide her through the night, with the light from above!” 

As we stand beside one person at a time and guide one person at a time into the loving arms of the Lord, we stand beside our nation and guide our nation.

 Yet, are we praying daily?  

Are we beseeching the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to guide us?  

Are we, as Christians, aware of the Light of Christ that leads us through the dark nights?

Or, are we like spoiled brats who have been given far too many sweets before dinner so that we no longer choose to digest that which may be bitter but which may also fortify us to remain strong?  

We think we deserve sweetness and all things beautiful to remain permanently within our reach at all times.  

After all, we work hard to have the ‘good’ life.  

We forget to ask the question that should haunt us, “How many have given their lives to make our current life as comfortable as it is?”  

What other nation provides so much freedom while asking so little in return?

We are the ones to guide this nation, right where we are, by encouraging those in our sphere of influence.

Listening, praying together, asking God to come into the midst of every challenge should be the common process for each of us.

We are the ones to invite grumblers into conversation and listen to all sides of each quandary. We are the ones to be encouragers, even with the most negative people.

We are called to give our concerns to God in prayer and then listen for direction.

We are called to stand beside one another through the darkest and roughest moments as God’s Light shines into our hearts and souls to direct our path.  

We should be proud to be called Americans.  

Our pride is not selfish but a result of giving our ‘all’ as citizens of this One-Nation-Under-God.  

We are called to be ‘ONE’, a team, with a sense of purpose, focused on the path that enables each of us to be the best according to our abilities. 

Unless a path leads directly away from God’s best for us, each has its value.  

“From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans white with foam, God bless America my Home sweet home!”   

Just think of this vast land with the grand variety of tundra and climate and population and beauty it provides for all of us within it’s parameter.  

We can move anywhere in this great nation that we wish.  

We can live in a bustling city or in the vast desert or the endless farmland available to any who choose.  

Determination, hard work, creativity or whatever it takes to find a place called ‘home’ is up to us.  

Generations have moved from a comfortable life to harsh surroundings in order to feel ‘free’ to live the way we choose.

Generations have worked hard and sacrificed much so that the next generation can be a little more comfortable.

Are we too comfortable?

As a whole we may be.  

Yet, God has so BLESSED this fine country that, even if we must struggle here and there, we are far more free, far more able to seek our dreams than ever before.

I know I have been deeply blessed even during challenging moments in my life.

I pray that all who seek God know this.

After all, it is God who has provided so many blessings.

God Bless America, OUR Home Sweet Home!

LUNY JUNE 2020

Luny June, Loony June, Blue Moon June, Moody June.

Sleepless, tossing and turning, I create titles for this month's blog that I write almost a month late.

There is nothing to say.

Not that I cannot find words but there are not enough words to try to explain this crazy month.  

Yet, I try to verbalize the crazy chaos swirling about me.

We visited a restaurant a couple decades ago, the name I will never forget.

Matzaluna.  I have no clue what we ate but the catchy name still lingers in my soul.

My personal translation would be “unleavened bread-moon.”  

How crazy is that?

That’s the whole point.  

We were told that it actually translates as crazy lunatic.  

I’ll accept that.

It’s a crazy name that is meant to be unforgettable.

Luny June is the name I give to a culmination of decades of self-indulgence that is also unforgettable. 

The world today is “matzaluna”!  

It’s a crazy, lunatic world.  

It’s not what is happening because we feel like we’ve been caged for months and now, in the process of un-caging, act out in a myriad of ways.  

It’s not because some rightfully have unresolved grievances that have passed from generation to generation and are called to make their voices heard.  

It’s not because we are moving into those ‘sticky’ months where we physically feel hot and bothered.

It’s because we human beings have been pampered far beyond what we deserve.  

Our expectations exceed what we have earned mentally, emotionally and physically.  Economically, the entire world, even the most poor nations, far exceed expectations of past eras.  We have more so we want and expect more.

I decided to study self-indulgence by watching documentaries of human behavior over the past few decades.  At the same time I continue to study the life of the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who are in ‘covenant relationship’ with God.  The grace of God and the blessings bestowed on an indulgent people of the old covenant are no different than today.  

The people who came to be know as ‘Israelites’ sought the God who made Covenant with Abraham each time they needed help.  

God obliged in abundance and pampered His Chosen People.  

As they prospered, God’s people forgot about the ‘Source’ of their blessings, turned to other gods and then wondered why they had nothing, felt empty and suffered great loss.  

They learned, over and over, from generation to generation, that only by honoring the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob could they survive and even thrive abundantly.

This scenario has never changed.

There is only one source from which the well of abundance never runs dry.

“God, our Creator, created creation to be creative and create in God’s image.”

This is a saying I ‘created’ early in my search for understanding of who I am.

As I studied the only book I could trust, the only book that has outlasted the shelf life of all other books for over two thousand years, I learned that I am NOT the center of the universe.

I canNOT do all things in my own strength.

I canNOT have the abundance I desire from other sources without consequences.

The only Source who will never forsake my dreams, assuming my dreams correspond with His dreams for me, is God . . . 

One far beyond my understanding . . . 

One who can provide far beyond what my tiny brain can comprehend.  

Only one problem.

I must find out what His dreams [plans] are that He already planted deep in my soul while I was still in my mother’s womb.  

God knew me before I ‘was.’

God created me to be all I am suppose to be.

Yet, it is for me to find out who I am according to His will.

After all, I was created as a ‘being’ . . .  not as a ‘doing.’

I was created with all the tools, all the parts I need, to become the ‘image’, the representation, the example of human life that God created me to be.

I am a human ‘being.’

If, indeed, so many call themselves human ‘beings,’ why do so many act like Matzaluna . . .  crazy people . . . spinning out of control . . .  ‘doing’ everything they can to feel better, do better, have better, indulge better?  

Why do so many overstep the logical process of learning about God and, by taking the necessary steps, become content to learn about themselves as made in the ‘image’ of God?  

Why do so many want to skip steps of self-awareness and move right into self-indulgence?  

Why do so many not think through reasonable steps to become who they are called to be and then move forward one step at a time?

If asked their ‘religious preference,’ The average person on the street may respond with a variety of answers.  

One person says “I am Jewish” yet has not entered a synagogue in decades.  Indeed, by heritage, that person may be Jewish and will remain so in heritage.  

Same for Muslims.  

Yet, this is not the same for Christians.  

Many who say they are ‘Christians’ only say so because their parents made them attend a Christian church when they were younger.  

Since leaving home, they have ignored regular attendance in a church community and, if asked, may not be able to tell you what it means to be ‘Christian.’  

The name “Christian” may be attached to a person but that person is not attached to Christ as a ‘Christ-follower.’  

Recently a new name has popped up. 

NONE. 

Those who say, ‘I am a None,’ seem to be intelligent, reflective and honest.  

They take questions of religious preference seriously and seem to be more self-aware than many ‘Christians.’ 

They are non, nothing, no-one, nadda, niet, NONE.  

I give them a gold star for honesty but my heart grieves deeply.

So many have so much, are able to attain so much, have been so overindulged, pampered and protected that they are NONE, nothing, non, 0.   

I watched several documentaries on economics and how nations that have expanded in wealth have also expanded in personal self-indulgence.

One documentary tracks self indulgence of the past twenty-five years, all over the world.  The ability to attain wealth is at our fingertips.  

Wealth seems to define us but it’s more than money.

It’s opulence in every degree.

More is better.  

More of anything is best.  

The belief system of the NONE is MORE?

The ideology is, “If I work harder and more hours each day I will make more money.  If I make more money I will be able to purchase my dream . . . ?  If I am able to purchase, in abundance, anything I want I will . . . ..

Fill in the blanks.

If that were not enough, this body which God created, this body which is a miracle of function and beauty, because God made us in His image of perfection and beauty and so much more, seems not to be enough.

Our body can be desecrated by the decisions we make about our own value.

Because those who are NONE do not realize the ‘Source’ of beauty in their body, they may abuse it or overindulge it.  

To ignore and not take care of this ‘temple of God’s creation’ is just as bad as trying to ‘fix’ it.  

Yet, this body we live in is not just flesh and bones.

God gave us an incredibly complex brain that, when tapped into God’s plan, can draw us into exponential opportunities for creativity, growth and change.

God gave us a will that can be focused inward toward self-indulgence or can be focused outward to seeking God’s will.

God gave us emotions that can be expanded upon in joy or sorrow when we focus on specific events that move those emotions into action.  

We are invited to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.  

Emotions, when used appropriately, are good for our

health.  Yet, too often we project our own anger and jealousy onto others.  

The NONE cannot cry out to God because they have declared themselves to be ‘nothing.’  God is everything.  

To seek everything through God is not possible according to the NONE philosophy.

The only other option is to share their self-indulgent need beyond their own space and into others’ space.

It’s as if the majority of the world has discarded any reliance on a ‘higher being’, GOD, and swapped a life of abundant treasure in the Almighty for MORE of NONE. 

This is what I mean by Luny June . . . Matzaluna . . .  Loony . . . 

If one seeks MORE but is NONE, how can one BE?

As Shakespeare, who believed in God, said,”To BE or NOT to BE, that is the question.”   

Has humanity ceased to exist?  

A NONE can BE but in order to BE, a NONE has to become ONE with God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  But, if this is the case, the NONE must disappear and simply BE.

The Apostle Paul said, “It is not I who live but Christ lives in me and the life I live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for ME.”  I choose to follow these words of Paul.

I continue to seek answers about my Being.

I seek to take one step at a time to greater self-awareness through God-awareness.

So far I have gained much treasure in my heart.

I feel full to overflowing with the abundance given to hubby and me.

We give thanks every single day we wake and feel our limbs and stand up and walk and work and talk and exchange thoughts and marvel at wonders around us.

Yet, each day I am on this earth I will continue to seek,

to know more, to be more, to enjoy more, as I learn more of who I am as one made in the image of God.

LUNY JUNE, a crazy month, unlike months past and months ahead.

It’s all Good for one who is NOT a NONE.

MAY MATTERS

May Matters 

May matters because each day we live matters.

It matters what we think, say, do.

It matters that we can simply sit, gaze out the window and feel content right where we are.

It matters that the world is spinning out of control with fires in big cities. 

It matters that professional looters and torchers are running rampant and COVID19 still lingers in plain sight.

It matters that we have a God who sees all, knows all and is present with those whose lives have been unfairly swallowed up by death.

It matters that life is a gift for as long as we are to live.

It matters that we embrace each and every day as if it were our last.

It matters that God is waiting for us to say ‘yes’ to His loving embrace.

It matters that, once we say ‘yes’ we will seek to be who God wants us to be and live according to His plan and not our own.

It matters that this day, the day of Pentecost, the last day of May, is a powerful reminder that the power of the Holy Spirit is available to all who have said ‘yes’ to the words of Jesus, the one resurrected from the dead, the one who ascended into heaven forty days after his resurrection and sent the Holy Spirit to all who believe in Him on the fiftieth day.

It matters to God.

It should matter to us who choose to believe.

I read a book decades ago that has remained in my soul ever since.

The title, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden,  focused on a life far different than mine.  Yet the title has remained with me for nearly half a century.  

It matters that God never promised us a Rose Garden, but we were promised life eternal.  

It matters that we were not promised life without death but life with God, through belief in His son, which means we will not feel the sting of death.

It matters that God never promised us a long life or a life

of happiness with few bumps in the road. Even those whose lives are totally focused on God, may have a shortened life through no fault of their own.  

We read of ‘Saints’ who were given this title because they remained steadfast in their Christian faith as they were persecuted or torchered to death.

Life is not easy for many.

Yet, there is always the hope in our hearts that tomorrow will be a better day.

There is always the Hope that was and is and is to come, Jesus Christ, who will lead us through rough patches and hold us high during those extraordinary high points that mark the path of our lives.

Because of the Holy Spirit, sent to us on the feast of Pentecost, we have hope.

It matters that the Pentecost Power within us who are baptized can help us fly high through the best days, whirl through mundane days and breathe deep on the very hard days.

Life may not be a Rose Garden but we can imagine that the same beauty of that garden is within us to be savored, embraced and drawn upon during dark days.

We, as a nation, are going through a rough patch right now.

We’ve been there before.

God has never left us.

The Holy Spirit is a powerful presence to lead and guide us.

Jesus, the Christ, still took all our sin upon Himself, was crucified and rose again so that we might live just one day with Him.

It matters that we can live one day at a time.

It matters that we can smell the roses until the scent is gone.

Life matters.

We matter.

Each of us matters to God.