August is one month in which I linger the longest.
It seems to take me days to complete simple tasks.
“Tomorrow,” I tell myself, “I’ll just put this task off until tomorrow.”
Days roll by as I sit on our little porch gazing out at our beautiful roses: Red, yellow, white.
Our large variety of Hasta bring pleasure after the colorful day-lilies have completed their cycle of beauty.
Winterberry bushes, filled with green berries, will turn bright red in a couple of months.
Russian Sage sweeps over the beds of Oregano, Tarragon, Mint, Garlic Chives, Onions and a few other herbs of unknown origin.
I continue to dig into my pile of books, a few pages at a time. Some are filled with daily meditations and others are so thick with wisdom that it takes me quite some time to chew on each phrase.
I read, mark, learn and try my best to inwardly digest concepts that are familiar to me but which are written with a greater depth than my usual texts.
I linger on each page as I try to place the swirl of content into feasible patterns that I can remember.
This is the only time of year that I can be really lazy in my use of time.
Few demands are set before me except from sweet hubby who seems always to be hungry.
He is just as engrossed in his studies as I am so his inquiries regarding basic needs remind me to stop, enjoy a meal with good conversation and then linger some more.
It’s not that we sit around all day doing nothing.
It's just this sense of apathy that comes from lingering a little longer in the beauty of each day.
I do not see “apathy” as negative but a fact of August.
Summer storms this time of year bring cool evenings and not-so-hot days.
We take time to enjoy precious moments as we embrace sweet smells of mowed grass, listen to our farmer-neighbors as they slowly drive their tractors around full fields and smile at the sight of the Amish riding high on horse-drawn buggies in the distance.
Few deadlines, unstructured days, shorter chore lists and the beauty that surrounds us makes me feel a bit like I am swimming in apathy.
Yet, I know better.
My favorite scripture from Proverbs comes to mind: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
This verse keeps me focused.
This scripture reminds me not to feel guilty about letting go of certain disciplines.
For instance, after a year I stopped writing my daily blog. In fact, as of June, I stopped writing spontaneously as I have done for years.
No weekly words to share with others.
No articles for various publications.
Even my monthly musing on this “Linger Longer” blog seems awkward, stilted, stuck.
This is why I feel a strong sense of apathy.
Perhaps I am finished with words.
Perhaps all that I need to tell the world has been completed. It feels like ‘apathy’ but perhaps I am indeed finished with sputtering pithy words for a time.
I need to simply trust in the Lord as I continue to pray for guidance. He may be taking me on a new path.
Or, perhaps it’s just because it’s August, a month that I choose to set aside each year in order to feel the joy of ‘apathy’, linger longer on my porch and throw all my cares into the summer breezes that sweep across the extensive meadows behind our lovely home.
Whatever word I choose to explain how I feel in August is totally opposite most of my action during the other months of each year.
I tried to retire three times.
Didn’t work.
August is the closest I’ll get to settling down.
Most of the year I choose to run at a pretty constant pace. I’ve slowed down quite a bit and require at least two hours each morning for myself . . . prayer, meditation, study and a good cardio session on my glider along with our morning walk.
It’s a good reminder for all of us to take a day off each week to worship our Lord and rest in His presence.
It's good to take one week each quarter of the year to re-assess our tasks and goals and step back a bit.
It's good to take one month each year to at least slow - way - down.
It’s good to step back from plans and people and even daily purpose to feel a snail’s rush of ‘apathy.’
It's good to Linger with streams of nothingness floating through body and mind.
It's good to let the soul be filled with a greater amount of God’s presence periodically.
Linger in the beauty of summer surroundings.
Settle into the sounds of silence.
Take time to listen to birds chatting or a tractor turning its turbines.
Touch damp leaves in the early hours of each day, bask in the sweet smells of lavender, rose hips, mint, sage, dill and basil.
Sip a cool drink, eat light meals, stand back as lightening fills the sky in the midst of a late afternoon storm and watch fireflies dance at night.
Enjoy doing nothing on that list once in awhile.
Linger as fond memories sweep through the mind.
Invite the Lord to bring forth names as you pray for others . . . that those on your heart also find a moment to linger in the presence of our Creator, our Savior, our Lord, who is “over all, in all and through all.”
This is a time to embrace our Lord’s unconditional love that comes from simply ‘being’ with Him and knowing He will never leave us nor forsake us.
This is a time to linger in His trust with all our heart.
This is a time to lean on Him even when we do not understand where we are or where we are going.
This is a time to embrace the ‘nothingness’ that comes from this sense of 'apathy'.
God is working in our soul when we invite Him to do so.
August Apathy, it’s a good thing.
