VULNERABILITY

A friend posted an incredible video on her Facebook page regarding VULNERABILITY.
I can't figure how to upload it so google: BreneBrounTED and look for her video on vulnerability.

I listened intently.

Vulnerability begins in the heart.

I took copious notes.
Did I understand her twenty minute lecture?
I was so busy trying to embrace Brene Brown's words that I had little time to digest them.
She was easy to understand, defined her concepts on vulnerability concisely, was a delight to listen to and her lecture was filled with great information.
And then she stopped.

Just when I thought she could really help me, she stopped.
Wait a minute.
I need a quick, easy formula to deal with my vulnerability issues.
Oh, I think she said that about herself before she knew it would take her a year of counseling and six more years of work to struggle through her own vulnerability issues.
Great.
And here I am blurting all this out on a BLOG . . . my wonder about vulnerability.
Isn't even wondering about it being vulnerable?
I so totally related to her statement that "I am not the vulnerable type."
I deal with each issue the best I can and move on.
Do I really have to get emotional about it?
Not exactly but it helps.

Brene Brown studies people's stories.
After years of listening, she divided people's stories into two groups.
Some of us have a strong sense of love and belonging and can endure the discomfort of vulnerability reasonably well.
On the other hand, some of us struggle for a sense of love and belonging.
We feel a sense of shame and unworthiness so deep that we dare not be vulnerable.
 

Our story is woven deep inside our heart.
Vulnerability will not unravel what is deep inside us
but will strengthen us.

Either we feel shame and fear and reject connection or we feel good enough to connect, which equals vulnerability.
We either feel worthy of loving and belonging or not.
It takes courage to tell our story with our whole heart.
It takes courage to share one's imperfections.
"Cour" means "heart" in french.
Are we brave enough to give our heart away?

It takes courage to let go of what we should be and fully embrace our vulnerable points.
Vulnerability takes courage.
Vulnerability is never comfortable.

In order to be vulnerable to another, we must love ourselves.
 Leviticus 19:18 says, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," as part of a long list of God's commandments to His people.
A lawyer talking with Jesus recites the two great commandments that Jesus taught, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27

I have memorized and pondered this scripture for years.
All too often we expend great energy loving our neighbor by doing great works.
We wonder why more people don't expend time and energy outside themselves as we have done.
Then comes exhaustion.
Perhaps the words come to mind, "I met everyone else's needs for too many years and I got burned out. I am done.  No more will I be the nice one as others trample over me or ignore my hard work."

I have been there.
I spin out too much in one direction without taking enough time in prayer and meditation with my Lord.
Yet, in order to "be" to others we need to learn to "be" with God.
Even in Leviticus one is commanded to love our neighbor 'as ourself'.'
Do we really take time to understand the love that God first gave us so we can feel that we truly belong to God and feel worthy of God's unconditional love?

We are called to first love God, which in turn will help us understand God's unending love for us.
Then and only then can we handle our own vulnerability by loving our neighbor unconditionally.

This year I am working hard to be honest and vulnerable with God.
I made a plan to set aside extra time each day to ponder God's words in scripture.
I have done this for years but this year I am being very intentional with several disciplines.
It's winter so I am not running round as much as usual.
The real test will be when the weather clears up and I begin spinning again.

I may not understand where I am in my vulnerability but Brene Brown most certainly helped me to refocus my efforts to simply 'be' . . . to sit and ponder who I am in God's eyes.

Sharing our vulnerability can produce
a sweet bouquet from the heart.

Do I feel comfortable with my sense of love and belonging?
Can I be vulnerable enough to endure telling my story to help another to face the day with more courage?

I pray that, when I am in a place where I need to be vulnerable I can 'be' my story and accept whatever outcome presents itself.
May we each address our own vulnerability as we seek more of God's love.

May we place our vulnerability on God's altar and bring our story to God.
Then, in God's timing, may we be brave enough, courageous enough, to be vulnerable enough to share our story with others.
May we all feel that sense of love and belonging to be vulnerable.