AUGUST ANGST

 

August is a crazy month where we live.

We’ve transitioned from July dry heat to cooler nights with a bit more moisture.  The extremely deficient summer rains have finally drenched my thirsty garden.

For me, August is a time to think about the close of summer lingering as I prepare for another season of leading and teaching.  

Along with transition comes Angst. 

Do I have to exchange my flip-flops for real shoes?  

Do I dig out another layer of clothing for those cool nights? 

Does my lazy lingering on the porch seem less frequent? 

 

It seems silly to get bent out of shape when anticipating transition but changing from the free flowing unscripted months of summer into a more structured season of learning and growing does cause me some angst.

Summer is a time to dig in the earth and watch bees make honey.

It’s a time to linger on the porch and stare out at the bird house as mama and papa birds feed their young.

It’s a time to move little, enjoy a good book, embrace tranquility and unload any burdens I place on my shoulders regarding schedules.

Schedules.  

That’s where the Angst begins.  

Suddenly I am ‘scheduled’. 

More meetings and classes.  

More expectations that I put upon myself.

Every year it’s the same.  

Why do I stress over structure that I relish?

Why do I get bent out of shape with false expectations for myself?

Why do I care to even continue with curriculums and creating new experiences for others?

A flood of details seem to swim past me as I try to catch a glimpse of order in the chaos of my crazy, out-of-the-box mental processing.

I tend to think in circles instead of straight lines.  

In fact, when I take notes I rarely write in a straight line.  

My mind digresses so I add a circle of words here and there or I turn the page sideways to write in the margin.  

I end up with scribbles that others couldn’t possibly understand.

That’s why I tend to create rules for myself.  

A rule, just like a ‘ruler,’ can create a straight edge to help my mind think in straight lines.  

A set pattern, like a mathematical formula, can keep me on track. 

I can memorize a pattern, an order of thinking, and remain focused.

Easier said than done.  

When I am given the opportunity to shape a new curriculum I can feel the heavy burden of perfection.  

I’m weighed down with my own expectations to perform flawlessly.  

Needless to say,  most of what I accomplish rarely has anything to do with me.  

My soul tends to give my mind’s tangled threads of creativity to God in prayer.  

I mull over what I ought to do far longer than actually setting out to accomplish each task.  

Because of the ‘mulling’ I have a choice.

I can let my creative solutions fall into place gradually or I can grab them in mid-air, when they are not yet complete, and carry needless Angst on my shoulders.

It’s like grabbing a half-baked loaf of bread from the oven and wanting the cool air to complete the finished product.  

Yet, waiting for those creative solutions to fall naturally into place is a bit of a risk.  

What if my half-baked ideas never get done?

What if the deadline for completion of my list of tasks is at hand?

What have I done before?

I have had plenty of practice with this conundrum throughout my very long life.

As usual, I wait until I am out of time.  

I feel myself getting all twisted inside.

When I am firmly bent into the most uncomfortable shape I finally release it all back to God.

How crazy is that!

You think I would learn not to repeat this maze of angst I’ve endured over the decades.

The only solution I know is to keep tossing it back to the Lord every time I choose to capture un-processed prayers.  

One cannot talk to God without taking time . . .  

lots of time . . .  

too much time, in my opinion, . . .  

to listen.

When I read the healing scriptures I am reminded that most of the healing, or returning to wholeness, began with each person seeking help from the healing hand of Jesus.  

One word or a touch from Jess and the person is made whole.  

If I take the time to sit quietly, remember the stories and articulate my needs to the Lord, I will have the answers.  

One word of scripture.  

One touch of the Holy Spirit.  

Waiting a little longer than I anticipate.  

That’s all it takes.

If I do this daily, the artificial weight I carry on my shoulders will dissipate.

IF

I choose to turn ‘if’ into ‘when.’

I choose to make a new rule of life.

I choose to create . . .  and memorize . . . a new life pattern.

I choose to unload my ‘angst’ daily to the Lord, thy God.

I choose to wait, to linger in God’s holiness a little longer each day.

I choose to embrace every daily, weekly, monthly transition as an opportunity to meet with my Lord, 

to un-bend, 

to let go, 

to breathe deep the wholeness the Holy Spirit chooses to give to me.

“Come Holy Spirit.  

Fill my heart as your faith-filled one.  

Kindle in my heart and soul the fire of your love, your healing touch, your spirit of wholeness.  

Renew my soul.  

Renew my body.  

Renew my life perspective each time I am called to transition into a new space You have laid out for me.

As St. Augustine said, “"O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams.”  

No more need for August Angst.

We have God’s healing hand to quell our spirit and make us whole.

JULY JABBERWOCKY

Jabberwocky!

I woke up in the middle of the night with sound bites spinning through my head.

Chosen leaders of our country spit out false words . . .  often . . . repeating concepts that are blatantly untrue.  

It’s all Jabberwocky!

Lewis Carroll introduced us to the word “jabberwocky” in the book, Through the Looking Glass, 1871.  His genius is shared through his many books that puzzle the untrained mind.

He listened to his creative mind and translated Jabberwocky into delight-filled stories where, when you read between the lines, you find a trend that has been with us since creation.

Jabberwocky began in the Garden when Adam and Eve tried to deceive God.

Adam’s jabberwocky did not keep Adam and Eve in paradise.

But God’s grace from the beginning of creation has never ceased.

God desires covenant relationship with all of us.

Too often we try to find a solution according to our own desires instead of simply waiting and listening and trying to understand God’s best for each of us according to his will.

We choose to cling to our own ideas and not God’s best path for our lives.

We want quick fixes for everything.

If one person repeats a lie often enough, that specific person will believe it and live the lie as if it were truth.

In our society today when we encounter an untruth we often declare that the person is ‘in denial.’

We each may have a moment or two in our lives when reality is too difficult to embrace all at once.  We create a scenario that may not be realistic but it may ease the pain of the current reality.  Hopefully, the traumatic moment will pass and we begin to absorb a more realistic truth about the situation, about life itself.

A medical diagnosis may be too overwhelming to grasp.

An unexpected death of a beloved friend or family member may take the breath out of us.

A betrayal of trust from another may suck confidence from our soul.

Or a new insight to the reality of life in the future might stop us cold.

If we hide in our imaginary world we may feel safe and calm for a moment.  Once we gasp a breath of reality, we eventually move from the imaginary to basic truths that we must accept.

Yet, some choose their own reality.

They may have lost trust in God’s Truth or do not choose to seek what truth is according to God.  Even basic scientific principles may be tossed aside because hollow words, said often, lure the soul into a false reality.

There will always be groups of people who find ways to permeate every form of communication to spin a yarn that is blatantly false.  

The reasons they do so are too numerous to expand upon but, for the most part, they believe a false statement as truth without asking questions or before further study.  

When a false statement is repeated for a long period of time over every form of media the ‘world’ begins to believe this jabberwocky.’

Hollow words become truth.

If we break down the reasoning we find empty nonsense.  

Jabberwocky!

I was studying the words of Habakkuk, chapter 2, and realized that the “woes” which God speaks to this prophet have become a current reality for every nation.  

God declares his wrath upon those who have become like Babel.  

God says that eventually all who rely upon their own authority and upon fortune and wealth rather than God’s truth will babel in jabberwocky.  

Habakkuk 2:20 says, “But the Lord is in His holy temple.  Let all the earth be silent before Him.”

Some of us who claim to know God seem to shout jabberwocky to silence God’s truth.  

We design our own truth and then let God know that this is how we wish to live.

Life does not work that way.

Did God promise us a rose garden?  No.

In fact God declared that humans, once outside the garden,  would ‘toil in the earth’ and woman would ‘have great pain in childbirth.’  

Why do we continue to outshout God’s intention for us?

Why do we carve out our own agendas for life instead of choosing to walk with God and wait in silence and listen for answers?

Why do we forget to converse with God before we turn to the left or to the right?

Why is it difficult to rely on God’s wisdom and trust God’s grace that stills the heart?

Why is someone else’s jabberwocky so enticing?

God created creation to creatively create.  

God created us human beings to use the brain created in us.  

Many creative solutions are not easy to achieve.  

Yet, our creativity has drawn us through many devastating moments in the past millennia to where we are today.  

Nations are more industrialized, people are more healthy, and in a democracy opportunities for an enhanced life are present to the average seeker at any given time.  

Indeed, some opportunities for a better life must be earned through discipline, hard work and sometimes sacrifice.  

Little is free and few transitions are easy.  

Yet, with God’s help and the awareness of the present needs around us, we can speak truth.  

We can hammer out challenging questions in every dilemma.

Verbose speeches, too numerous to count or meaningless mandates are not the solution.

For decades we have listened to Jabberwocky.

It’s now time to stop . . .  use our brains . . .  calculate each step and discuss the ramifications for a better future for generations who will come after us.

It’s not our generation nor the next who will suffer.

It’s the third and fourth generations who have to clean up the mess we make when we follow empty words that prove to have no foundation.

Our foundation is built by applying God’s Word to our lives.

In the beginning God created . . .

In the beginning God said, “Walk with me.”

Simply walk with God.

We are called to Linger a little longer each day with God, to wait in silence, to listen and act upon God’s solutions for living each day to the fullest.  

The old hymn, ‘In the Garden’, was written by C. Austin Miles in 1912 when he lived in a basement without windows and without a garden outside.  

This ‘garden’ is where God resides and waits for us to stop and wait and listen.

We can choose to Stop listening to jabberwocky.

We can Silence the heart that wants more than is best for us.

We can simply walk in God’s presence if we choose to trust the voice of Truth.

In the Garden by C. Austin Miles begins:

I come to the garden alone, 

While the dew is still on the roses.

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear 

The Son of God discloses.

[refrain]

And He walks with me and He talks with me

 and He tells me I am His own.

And the joy we share as we tarry there, 

none other has ever known.  

[If you to google this song you will enjoy the rest of the verses.]

When we get tired of the constant harangue of jabberwocky we can walk in the ‘Garden of God’ that is planted in our soul through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Listen.

Ask Questions.

Wonder out loud.

Ask the Lord to help make sense of the jabberwocky screaming in the distance.

For example we hear about the climate and how it is changing.

The minute God created the universe and all that is within it there was hot and there was cold.  

The more God added to this universe, the more varied temperatures appeared in various areas according to what was created.

An open plain or grassy meadow may create a different climate than what we now call a large city with vehicles and buildings and emissions and people and whatever else goes into a tight space.

A rain forest creates its own climate as do acres of ranch land filled with livestock.

Climate changes occur all over the world and will never cease.

“It’s getting hotter,” we exclaim in the midst of this July heat wave.

"It’s getting colder,” we exclaim in mid-January in the northern hemisphere.

It’s getting dryer or wetter or stormier or . . . 

Yes, since the industrial revolution there may be more changes to our climate than centuries before.

After centuries of misuse of our natural, or unnatural, resources do we rush to spread some jabberwocky of a solution?

Scientists are divided on how to approach changes that are necessary to mitigate what indeed might be a catastrophe in a thousand years.

Only one problem.

Some solutions are given timelines that are impractical to the point of causing world-wide distress.  

In fact, the FDA takes longer to scrutinize a viable medicine than congress takes to make a law that is impossible to achieve in the pronounced amount of time.

There is much jabberwocky shared by local and national leaders who have no idea what they are talking about.

Has anyone asked how long electric vehicle batteries (created by using fossil fuel and hazardous materials) will last before they are dumped in a land fill?

Has anyone discerned that electricity does not come from a plug in the wall?

Is the war in Ukraine using fire arms that cause global warming?

Should we be more concerned with clean air than with the life of those who are currently facing death from a lethal, yet treatable, disease?

Of course, any answer you give will be jabberwocky to those who believe otherwise.

God gave us brains and natural resources that can be used with discretion.

Yet, we choose to rationalize why we “need” disposable items made for our convenience.  Ask any parent if they wish to trade disposable diapers for the inconvenience of using cloth diapers.  The uproar most likely would be deafening.  

I live in the midst of Amish country where horse and buggy is the norm.  

Amish use propane instead of electricity and the outhouse is still commonly used in these parts.  Why don’t I follow in their footsteps?

Because there is no way I would use a horse and cart to drive 30 miles to the big box store where I purchase items at a discount once a month.

I do not choose to invest in an outdoor privy.

Is my source of electricity worse than propane?

 

Most of us seem ready to jump into quick solutions before we consider viable outcomes.  The challenge is to list the ramifications, good and bad, of each “solution” we create.  This takes time, the time it takes to linger in the garden, to let the brain process all possibilities. 

Walk with God in the Garden . . . 

Alone

Silent

Open your mind to God’s creativity

Linger awhile

Ask Questions

Listen long

Wait

List ramifications

Linger with God some more

Apply what you’ve learned

Trust the outcome.

Turn jabberwocky into truth and keep moving forward.

Walk in the garden, enjoy each day as it comes and be mindful of God’s creative solutions.

JUNE JUBILEE

 According to an old song, “June is busting out all over!”

It’s a Jubilee year for Queen Elizabeth and all of Great Britain is celebrating.

Jubilee celebrations have been around for centuries.

But celebrating 70 years with a Jubilee is not common.

Who even lasts 70 years at their job or in their marriage much less as sovereign over a country?

With all the young deaths we hear about, reaching the age of 70 seems to be a milestone.

In fact, I am currently grieving the life of a dear friend who was full of Joy every day as she dove into the many challenges of motherhood and life in general.  

She led several prayer groups and did not skip a beat through Covid when they met in the driveway, in the snow.  

She and her hubby did not blink twice when they dined outside in the middle of winter and dressed in warm gear. 

It was something they wanted to experience together.  

A few weeks ago my friend’s body was suddenly slammed with ‘inoperable sarcoma’ and she was gone in days, well before she turned 70.

Yet, she celebrated each day with a smile.  

Her last days she thanked the nurses, thought of others, prayed for dozens and was fully attentive to her husband and children as she spent her last hours with them. 

My friend understood ‘jubilee’, a sense of celebration, for too many reasons to count.  

She celebrated every milestone that was presented to her by family and friends. 

She could spend just a few moments with someone and make a memory they might share for years. 

She thought she had decades ahead of her yet she celebrated life as if tomorrow were her last day.

I learned so much from her during the few moments we had together over the years.  

It was not what she said that was so profound but how she saw life in general.  

Embrace the day.  

Smell the roses.  

Use your mind, will and emotions as God ordained . . . each of us to give of ourself to another, even for a moment.  

Share your story.

Learn God’s purpose through a challenge.

Help another through the same challenges we may overcome. Talk to God and them be quiet . . .  and listen. 

My friend listened.  Really listened.

And then she prayed specifically according to requested needs. . . daily.  

This was never a chore for but a joy.  

She saw prayer as that eternal connection that God created us to have with one another and with God.

Those who knew her will celebrate her life in a couple of weeks.  

Some will be with the family in spirit if they live too far away.  

Yet, streams of people will come and share wondrous stories that connected each person to this dear soul.  

Jubilee invites us to stop our daily routine, celebrate the moment and make a memory.  

Since the time of Jacob in the old testament, Jubilee has been in our vocabulary.  

“Joba” is the Hebrew word for Ram’s Horn.  

Often the Ram’s Horn was blown to call God’s people together for a specific event or celebration.  

Jubilee, from the word “Joba”, was celebrated after 7cycles of 7 years, usually during the 50th year, in the same way Pentecost, ingathering of the harvest, was celebrated 50 days after Passover every year.  

The exile of the Jews from Israel suspended Jubilee for centuries until Christians began celebrating a time of grace-filled pardons after a rather lengthy interval of time.  

A jubilee was declared after 100 years during the leadership of Pope Boniface in the 1300s.  

It was reduced to 50 years which still seemed too long.  Jubilee every 25 years became the norm for a long period of time.  

Jubilee can happen any time we wish but it’s the length of time between celebrations that makes a Jubilee so special.  That said, why not set a goal that may take a very long time to accomplish!  

Plan a celebration as you near the completion date, which may take longer than intended.

List one goal that may be impossible to achieve in a short time but with planning, hard work, determination and patience it can be completed eventually.

Run a marathon

Climb a mountain

Walk or ride a bicycle across a state or a country

Write a book

Become certified in gardening, or plumbing or computer technology or . . . 

Spend a year in a foreign country employed as a . . . 

Become a leader in an area in which you have loved to Volunteer (this may take several years or just a few months.)

None of these options is easy.  

Each may be a long range goal.  

It’s more than a ‘bucket list.’   

It’s a life change.  

It may take years to find the time or to become prepared or to complete the project.  

Keep a journal of your daily, weekly or monthly progress to complete your journey.

Add names of each friend or acquaintance who enables you to meet each sub-goal.  

Perhaps a few minutes conversation with someone you only meet once might propel your imagination, your determination or bring you closer to your destination.

However, start now. . .  at least with a plan.

We never know when we might hear the word, “inoperable” and have just a few days to live.

In the mean time, celebrate each day as if you were already on the final portion of your dream journey.

Start now but do not be in a hurry.

Remember, it is often the journey that is to be celebrated, not the destination or completion of your dream.

When you feel your dream is complete or at a very good stopping point, throw a celebration party and invite everyone you have listed in your journal.  

Your heart knows who to recognize.

For those unable to personally attend,  write a note or send a picture.

Set up a Zoom link where others can join you at a specifically selected date and time with words of affirmation.

Jubilee helps us keep those special memories close to the heart.

Celebrate each day and enjoy that special moment of accomplishment with Jubilee.