Each of us has different preferences that dictate our lives.
Some of us prefer summer over winter.
In the summer, some prefer to linger in gardens on a hot day and others choose to enjoy air conditioning.
Sometimes, our preferences mean making tough choices.
If we choose to linger in a garden we might have to wander in some else's yard or walk down to a local park.
We may have to compromise with the natural elements like the hot sun and don a hat and sunglasses and slather sunscreen on our exposed skin.
Sometimes we choose where to live according to our preferences.
For instance, I love summer all year long but my husband now barely tolerates summer and relishes long, cold winter days.
His 'outside' time is my 'inside' time.
He breathes deep and seems to come alive on crispy-cold days.
I burrow into a warm corner of the house and prefer to park myself there until Spring. Because I love my hubby and he loves me, we have compromised over the years.
We met in Seattle, where it is not too cold in the winter and is nicely cool most of each Summer.
We moved to Northern Virginia, quite warm in the summer with no cool breeze, and crispy-cold only a few months a year.
Both places offered enough for us to compromise our preferences quite well.
Then we moved to Florida.
I began to love the heat and my hubby tolerated it quite well for several years.
The very hot summers brought with it soft sea breezes.
Winter was cool enough for him and just right for me.
I most certainly benefited the most from living there.
After several years it was his turn to name his preference.
He chose a Pennsylvania mountain range that not only offers cool breezes in the summer but sweeps cold gusts that rattle our home almost constantly for eight months a year.
Yes, this summer is hot . . . too hot for hubby.
This year is unusual.
It has been like Florida with never ending humidity.
My precious hubby parks himself in the coolest part of the basement when he can and, if given the option, would linger there until the first sign of frost.
As the days become shorter and nights grow colder I linger outside a a little less each day.
Hubby, in anticipation of the months ahead, seems to awaken from his sleepy daze in dark corners and begins to jog more frequently.
We will soon exchange a single sheet of bed covering for a down comforter with a coverlet on top of that.
As days grow dark and north winds howl, I get double the covers as he tosses them my way.
Because we create options we manage well.
Neither of us declares a 'mandate' by telling the other to accept that which is intolerable.
We adjust, knowing that we live in an imperfect world.
We work with each other instead of against each other.
I have yet to hear, "You cannot have more blankets on a cold winter day."
I have yet to tell my precious partner in life, "You must be covered in as many blankets as I use."
In the same way, I cannot demand that hubby keep the heat up high on a blistering cold day.
In fact, we both choose to keep the house at 68 in the winter.
We have high ceilings and his office is in an open loft at the top of the stairs. What little heat we enjoy (68 does not seem that warm) goes right up to him. It's really about 72 for him, which he thinks is just right.
My best option is to wear wool socks and a thick wool sweater with heavy sweatpants.
I also opt to go to a sweetly decorated, cozy corner of the basement where I can turn the heat up without much extra cost.
We simply switch places between summer and winter.
It works.
Preferences.
Who is winning now?
Because I choose to remain with my forever partner in marriage, I am willing to compromise in the winter as he does in the summer.
Because I mention ideas and do not mandate alternatives, we came up with a nifty plan to help each other through the toughest months.
There are many other preferences we lay aside because we have invested in each other.
We have a "vested interest" in compromise and, over the years, have gained a great return on our investment in each other.
Mandates are out of the question.
Patronizing is not acceptable.
Demanding that one come over to the other side is inappropriate.
Compromise is the only way we continue to thrive as a devoted couple.
I wonder if our nation is dealing as well with its commitment to fellow citizens.
As citizens, we are all 'bonded together' under the rules of the same constitution.
The United States of America, the government OF the people, BY the people, and FOR the people, is just that.
We are called upon to govern ourselves.
We state our preferences by voting.
We often have to compromise if the 'vote' for our preference is outnumbered by another's vote for a different preference.
Together, we are called upon to maintain the unity of one nation as a governing body.
Mandates are out of the question.
Patronizing is not acceptable.
Demanding that those who disagree come totally over to the other side is inappropriate.
We must all work together to compromise, to work with each other's preferences as best we can.
We have fought many wars and too many have died to maintain our freedom.
We must work together, every day, to maintain our freedom.
We can do this with compromises in compliance with our Constitution.
Our job, as a nation, is to read and digest the actual words of our Constitution.
Our nation has twisted the words and intent over the years. Transcript of the Constitution of the United States - Official Text
Our preferences do not mean . . . 'all or nothing'. . . 'my way or no way.'
It is OUR way.
The bond of Marriage would not last a minute if preferences were ignored, mandates were dictated, and compromise was out of the question.
As a nation we are called to bond with each other as we live side by side, knowing that FREEDOM means working at compromise as we seek our own preferences,
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